A young boy recently asked me a question that, I have to confess had never even really occurred to me to wonder about. “Since Kootie and Koobert only have one leg, how do they, you know, go to the bathroom?”
Pardon me while I let that sink in for a minute.
Sherlock Holmes was very observant and keenly logical all throughout his adventure entitled “The Hound of the Baskervilles”, and though the story spanned several days, he never once made a recorded trip to the loo. If it would have been me, I would not have been thinking very clearly after even one day omitting that activity. Yet, somehow we manage to enjoy the tale without having to even think about such mundanities.
And of course, since Sherlock Holmes walks around on two legs, no little boys ever ask, “Mister Doyle, sir, did Sherlock Holmes even have a bottom?” This despite the fact that the only real evidence that he actually has one is that he sits down every now and again. I guess novel readers willingly give themselves to certain routine presumptions, freeing most storytellers to more interesting imagination.
I can tell you, my dears, that Kootie and Koobert are every bit as comfortable in their one-legged frame as you and I are in our two-legged construction. And I’m delighted to say that they have managed to do any number of things that you and I might think of as requiring two legs.
I remember a time not so long ago when Kootie and Koobert were enjoying a pleasant amble around a popular city park when they encountered a fascinating contraption, just lying by itself in the grass.
“Ooooh, a bicycle!” said Kootie admiring its clean utilitarian lines.
“Let’s ride it!” said Koobert with enthusiasm. Obviously Koobert was undaunted by the prospect of managing two pedals with only one leg.
The pair of adventurers stood the bike up on its two wheels, one on either side next to one of the pedals. Without even thinking too hard, they simultaneously realized that this task was going to be complicated and require cooperation. Instinct guided their movements as first Kootie, then Koobert, grasped the upper crossbar of the frame with both hands, and on three, hopped up onto the pedal on their side. It was amazing to see them in action, eyes locked on each other as they first struggled and wobbled, then settled into an amazing balance that would have made a circus acrobat blush.
With a barely perceptible nod from Kootie that she was ready, Koobert used his grip on the frame as leverage to push down on his pedal, and gave a satisfied sigh as the pedal gave way. Kootie was relaxed as she rode up on the pedal on her side of the bike, then took her own turn to push down as her pedal wheeled past its apex.
“Wheeeee” cried Kootie as the gentle morning breeze began whipping past the team in meaningful earnest. It felt good to go fast!
“This is better than a teeter-totter!” hollered Koobert as the pedals pumped up and down, speeding the bike forward. This was so much fun!
“Turn right, Koobie” Kootie called out to her little brother as she pushed especially hard on her pedal.
“I can’t reach the handlebars, Kootie”, replied Koobert, getting ready to push with both hands firmly clutching the frame. “You do it!”.
“I can’t reach the handlebars either,” Kootie said thoughtfully. “I wonder how we’re supposed to steer…”
Just then, the bike gave a jolt as it jumped over a curb, into the street, and right in front of the oncoming number 206 city bus. At that moment, I don’t know whether Kootie and Koobert did or not, but I can tell you that the amazed bus driver certainly proved quite able to go to the bathroom.
So did the bicycle.
Next time, Kootie and Koobert’s pancake adventure…
I’m speechless… And you know that’s a BIG deal!
wow… I didn’t know bicycles could go to the bathroom…
I too was quite incredulous initially, but was assured by Koobert in particular that’s exactly what happened. Most amazing…
I needed a good laugh so came back to read this… I’m still speechless (and a little grossed out!). And, no, I’m not going to ask… I really want to know, but I’m not going to ask. You can’t make me ask! No-o-o-o-o-o!!!!
😀
It still gets funnier everytime I read it! “I wonder how we’re supposed to steer?”
*gigglegigglesnort*